Dear Kroger,

Yours is, by far, the worst grocery store in the Macon area. So bad, in fact, that I have promised my husband I will no longer shop there. I made this promise not because of the items you stock or your shelves or the prices you charge, but rather because the service I receive nearly EVERY time I walk into your store is TERRIBLE, AWFUL, HORRIBLE--in a nutshell it sucks.

I lost my mind this morning and went to your store once again only to be reminded why I shouldn't shop there EVER. I could detail my experience here, but what's the point. Yours is the largest grocery chain in the nation, and who am I but an unhappy customer. I could write a letter to your corporate headquarters, but the loss of one customer in Macon, GA means little.

In any case, I'm done. I'm taking the $550 I spend each month in your store and giving it to Publix.

Happy now?


Sincerely,

Ellen-I-hate-feeling-grinchy-around-Christmas-Byron

P.S. I'm not the only one who feels this way.

J is for Julia, you know, my other kid

It seems that Julia only gets one post a month dedicated to her. Oops. And to think that I have complained that the grandparents aren't equitable when they talk about my girls. At three and a half, with a whole lot of attitude, there's simply more material when it comes to my firstborn.

Shall we get back to Julia though, my secondborn, my lovebug. She has started signing words with increasing frequency. Wouldn't you know it, but the first person she chose to sign was Grace. Not Mama, not Dada, but Grace. She lets us know when she's hungry, especially for bananas, and she tells me when she needs a diaper change. I'm so slow that it took me fifteen minutes of her slapping her side to realize that perhaps she had a stinker in her pants!

She's crawling and scooting and standing and trying to walk. She's everything a ten month old should be, and I'm smitten. It's a curious feeling to want to consume your child because she's so delicious and soft and lovely. I'm ever thankful that I have had this second opportunity to mother an infant. How precious is the time, how fleeting. Soon she will be walking and talking. She will stop nursing and clinging to me, and I will be forced to steal moments of quiet with her while she sleeps. I am besotted with the love I feel for her, and I know that she makes me a better mother, not only for her, but also for her sister.

J is for Julia, jubilant, Julia.

Dear The Gap (and other female clothiers),

Do you see what you've done to me?

This whole empire waist trend; I'm sooo not happy. Oh, but I should be, you say. After all an empire waist hides that little post pregnancy pouch. As an aside, can I still claim to be postpartum if the babe is 10 months old?

Anyway, back to my point. I engaged in a little retail therapy over the weekend. Grace had thrown a gazillion temper tantrums, and this mommy needed some time alone. I thought I would try one of those empire numbers, you know, get something cute and summery.

Au contraire. There's a major problem with this style (which by the way is ubiquitous): it makes me look pregnant.

I'm not joking. Combine my age, my lactating boobs, and a bum that needs tightening, and there you go, preggo Ellen.

You don't believe me. Below are two images. On the left, a shirt from The Gap for the non pregnant; on the right, a top from Motherhood Maternity.


Granted there's probably a little more material on the top from Motherhood, but I guarantee you that I would look THE SAME in both of these shirts.

This is a real bummer.

Sincerely,

Ellen-can you sell me a shirt that doesn't make me look pregnant-Byron

Happy Birthday, Dad

Dear Dad,

Happy birthday! Here is a video of your two granddaughters wishing you a happy birthday. I'm sure you had a big cake at work and lots of attention lavished upon you. If you were here, the party would only continue except that the attention would be so great that you would be expected to respond to every command.

Enjoy your special day.

Lots of love, Craig and Ellen


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Dear Ellen,

Your new template sucks. Go back to the old one.

Sincerely,

Yourself

.....

The old template's back. I didn't like the change, so I'm going to keep looking.

Now onto other things. Grace and Daddy went to the dentist yesterday, and the trip was highly successful. Thank goodness Grace was there because apparently Craig was quite scared. Grace had to sit next to him and hold his hand and stroke his head while the hygienist cleaned his teeth. Poor thing.

.....

Last, but by far, not least, here's my new favorite photo of Grace and her beau, Evan. Evan's mom took this picture in the parking lot of the Cherry Blossom Festival (along with a series of them holding hands). Those two. That image. It's enough to make this mama cry.

reconstructive surgery

Dear Ellen,

We are sorry to inform you, but your blog has some formatting problems. It seems you chose a template that does not fully support xml. We understand that you like the way the blog looks, but we encourage you to adapt your current format. Once you do so, you will no longer receive error messages while trying to post, and a greater diversity of editing options will be available to you. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Sincerely,

Blog Code Enforcement

PS. We are no longer supporting your template, so if you do not change, you are on your own.

PSS. Do you even know how to code xml?

.....

Hallo, blog readers,

It's another month of Nablopomo. I don't plan to fully participate. Instead I am hoping to post five days a week, and give myself the weekend off. Perhaps I can convince Craig to write a weekly "Dad Perspective" to give you some weekend reading. After all his post on the "Top Five Extant Mammals of All Time" continues to get hits every day.

But I digress.

The theme for April is letters (in case you hadn't figured that out). Like March, I am open to suggestions. For you non-commenters, send me an email.

Also, as the letter above indicates, the blog will be going through some remodeling. It may take me awhile to make the transition, so please bear with the technological upgrades and disruptions of service. I hope to be back, bigger and better than before, by tomorrow. In all likelihood, I won't be up and running until Wednesday though. I would love some feedback on the format also, so email away.

Sincerely,

Ellen