Grace takes a nap and Tooflee returns

The last few weeks have been filled with a lot of change in Grace's life. For one she started going to school five days a week. Initially I thought that staying at home for two days would be beneficial. It turns out that she spent those two days glazed over in front of the television. It may not hold true for all kids, but when Grace consumes too much TV she turns into a bear. She acts out, throws temper tantrums, abuses the cat and me. In the end I felt that spending two additional days with a teacher whom she adores was far better than spending that time with me yelling at her.

The second change was giving up her binky (as I wrote about in an earlier post). There have been a few consequences as a result of this action. Grace actually sleeps better at night. In the past when she lost her pacifier during the night, she would often call out for Craig and me, waking us from the already limited sleep we receive. With the paci gone, her sleep is relatively undisturbed. On the other hand, the loss of the binky also meant a loss of nap time. Without it she can't unwind during the day. I would send her up to her room for quiet time, but this rarely worked. As each day passed the bags under her eyes grew larger (and mine did too, no nap for Grace meant no nap for me). I also noticed that many of her stuffed animals were now being used as de facto binkies. Their appendages matted and sticky with her saliva. Her woobie, the security blanket that she has loved so dearly, is now nearly in tatters from being sucked on.

On Thursday my parents arrived from Michigan. That afternoon when I picked Grace up from school I told her that if she took a nap she would be able to stay up late and wait for Grandma and Grandpa to arrive. Note this is a parenting mistake I often make; bargaining for behavior almost always backfires. At home I tried to settle her with some stories as she sucked on her woobie. I left the room, and the "nap dance" began.

"Mommy, I can't go to sleep."
"Just close your eyes Grace."
"I can't. I won't be able to see Grandma and Grandpa." Crying starts.
"You will still see them, but not until the morning."
"But you promised."
"Grace, I promised that you could stay up and wait for Grandma and Grandpa if you took a nap."
"I CAN'T NAP WITHOUT MY BINKY." Snot running down her lip, tears shooting out of her eyes like darts.

We do this for a few more rounds and then I break. I walk into Julia's room and retrieve one of her rejected binkies (yes, she only likes one particular kind, weird). I give this to Grace, and I watch as her lids become heavy and she falls asleep right before my eyes. She sleeps for nearly four hours.

Craig comes home, and he can tell from the expression on my face that something has transpired. "I f@#%^d up," I tell him. He doesn't think that Grace having a binky at nap time is the worst thing to happen. She hasn't been sleeping after all, and it does make her crabby. I can't think the situation through at this point. I am far too fatigued. Julia is going through a pretty fussy stage, and with Grace not napping, I'm dead. Craig decides that we should return Grace's binkies to her and take the dolls back, but there's a twist. She can only use her pacis at nap time. If she doesn't nap, no binky, and there's definitely no binky for night time. We will tell her that Tooflee returned and took the dolls and left us the binkies with clear instructions. Grace is really into rules, so there is no doubt she will take this development seriously.

When Grace wakes from her nap, I hear her go into Julia's room and deposit the used binky in her crib. She cries "I'm so sorry Julia. I don't want your binky. I WANT my binky." As I hear her crying over the baby monitor, I nearly cry. It's just not worth it. Why make her this upset? Why make me this upset?

Grace comes down the stairs and finds her binkies on the coffee table. I explain Tooflee's return and the rules. Grace understands and is happy. She tells me "when I am ready I will give Tooflee my binkies, and she will bring back my dolls."

Yes, she will Grace. We can wait.