Belated

First, a belated Happy Valentine's Day to you. A few years ago I would have written in detail about our Valentine's day events, how the girls insisted on making their own (which were totally adorable, but extremely labor intensive and expensive) and how I'm still cleaning glitter hearts from the floor. Now (years past my blogging prime) you get one image.



She's pretty darn cute though.

I've thought a lot about why I don't blog regularly anymore, and when I do write it's always to post something about how I can't write or won't write. What a downer. Truth is that our life isn't down, but it is busy. The other truth is that I've chosen not to blog too many details about my girls. For the last couple of years I've had this nagging whisper in my ear: don't post that picture, don't tell that story. Why? It's not that I have creepy followers (though visitors from Russia and China do make me wonder, "how the heck did you stumble on this particular blog?"). No, it's that I worry about the consequences of having one's life documented in very fine detail for all to see. Grace and Julia haven't had much choice in what I've said or not said about them on the internet. And I wonder how I might be different if every moment, every mistake were available for a wider audience to dissect. I feel bound (and sometimes tied) by my own past, a past that thankfully lives only in my memory, and not online. What if that past were out there in digital relief? Would I be able to leave it where it belongs? Or would I be overly burdened by the expectations painted in ever thickening layers by my internet past?

The answer, of course, is that I don't want that burden for my girls (and I understand that I'm projecting my own fears here). They're being raised in an altered reality, one that I don't recognize from my childhood. There's a strong chance they wouldn't feel the same burden that I fear, but I'm not willing to roll those dice. In the coming months I will dismantle this blog (after I get a hard and digital copy, of course). I will continue to upload pictures to my flickr account (cause I can't walk away from the 4000 I've already uploaded), but I will make that site private. If you're interested in seeing pictures in the future, just give me a shout by email, and I will give you access.

This is not my last post. I do have a few more to go, but I also want to have an eye on the future, which means the end of Two Little Ladybugs. It's been a good run; this blog has been a companion of sorts, especially in the early days of motherhood, and for that I'm deeply thankful.

Closed for business

I get a smidgeon of the blog traffic I used to have. This is what comes from not posting on a regular basis and/or posting the most boring stuff on the internet. I'm guilty on both counts. I thought for a bit about giving up the blog altogether but then I remembered why I started to do this in the first place: connection with friends and family. So I'm going to keep it going, albeit with a very different look. This is your notice that this place is going to be a mess as I change my template and add new stuff.

Hopefully a new look will get me back into the groove. I've been blogging for over five years. I don't even know if I can stop, but I can do it with more style.

a few details

As you might imagine, it's been a little hectic around here. In addition to Grace starting school, my older cat, Zuzu, got sick. She's been at the vets since Monday with a surgery on Tuesday. We hope to bring her home by this afternoon. Making a calm and quiet place for her to recover is going to be a challenge. Calm and quiet aren't words that generally populate Grace and Julia's vocabulary.

In any case, the Tetons are coming, I promise. We're going to switch gears a bit though and have Craig write some of the travel posts. It's always good to have the Dad perspective (and it gives me a break). I just have to upload all the damn photos. That's next.

Hope you all are enjoying your summers (since ours is over, Julia goes back to school on Monday).

intermission

I should have paced myself. Yes, the Tetons and Yellowstone were next on our trip, and I promise, I'll get to them. Right now, though, we're counting down the minutes (almost) until Grace goes back to school (Tuesday, August 3rd), The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity. We had friends visit from Massachusetts too, so no blogga for me.

Meet back here on Sunday?

People, this is hard

Well, not really, but sheesh, when one doesn't blog for 7 weeks, it's pretty hard to get back up and going. How should I do this? Do I go back and start from the beginning, June 3rd, when our bags were packed with clean clothes and we still showered regularly? Should I skip ahead to the night Craig sliced his finger and received six stitches (which I later removed at another campsite). I mean, I have to tell you all of the great things the kids said, right? Like how Grace told me she wants to do this every summer? Or how Julia regularly requested that we stay in a hotel or at a minimum eat in a restaurant (she clearly thinks her parents are less than civilized). I want to tell you all of those stories, or at least I hope I will, because, after all, this blog serves as my memory.

First things first though. At this very moment, my computer is siphoning digital images from Craig's computer so that I can FINALLY upload the rest of our trip. Last I checked I was on image #775, with a long way to go (and I haven't even emptied the latest from our camera). I can't tell our stories without images, so if you will bear with me, I'll get to posting the good stuff soon.

Go see Sarah

I really needed to laugh today--it's been that kind of day. In any case, I went to see Sarah's earth day post, and instead I found this.

Now, go see Sarah. I mean it. It's really funny. Especially for those of us who have been married for awhile.

sprung

I hope you all can wait until I get my blogging-mojo back. I've started and stopped many posts. I just can't seem to pull thoughts together. In the meantime, I've continued to upload photos to my flickr account. You can always go there and get a guesstimate of our lives.

Spring Break came and went. There was camping (Happy Birthday, Daddy), playing (ridiculous amounts of playing--serious bliss for the girls), and a rapid speed trip to Florida to take the girls to the Kennedy Space Center (and fulfill Grace's wish--sorry to Talli and Bob that we didn't have time to drop by). Below are some of the best moments.













Spring has seriously sprung around here (the pollen is so thick that you can see it hanging in the air like a misty green cloud). This time of year seems ripe with possibility--if only I could put thoughts to post. Ah, well, it will come sometime. If you want something better to read, go see Sarah. She's doing Earth Day posts this month.

sprung

One week it's a mild, almost chilly, spring, and the next week it's summer. So goes April in Georgia. Our windows are all open, and I can hear both the birds in the trees and the people on the street as I write. By four o'clock the second story will be a steamy 85, and we'll run the AC for an hour before the girls go to bed. I love this time of year in the South. Most people adore the early spring when every horizontal surface is covered with pollen and every bush and tree explodes with blossoms. I appreciate that time as well, but I suppose the reason this time of year resonates with me is that it so closely reminds me of July in northern Michigan.

We've been busy, hence no blogging. My parents came, Craig went to New Orleans, my brother, Paul, and his wife, Wendy, came, Craig returned, Paul, Craig and my dad enclosed the space below our deck to create an outdoor room, Paul and Wendy left, my parents left, and Craig and I spent a day landscaping. Whew. Throw into that mix Grace and Julia and we had a bit of chaos and a few alcohol infused late nights (courtesy of brother, Paul). The house is far too quiet now, and I feel the pang of loneliness that comes every time my family departs.

There's very little of interest to write. My current thoughts fall under the categories "ridiculous bragging" or "mind numbing minutia". In any case, nothing worth sharing.

Hope you all are well.

Busy Signal

And the grandparents arrived yesterday. Back to blogging when we have time?

Is this a sign?

Post lost. Blog lost.

For a few hours this blog disappeared. I have no idea why. I have no idea where it went, or where to look for the last post I wrote. Oh well.

It's Friday, and I'm relieved. Whitney is doing well. Julia, who contracted a seriously icky bug while we were we gone, seems to be on the mend, and Grace, finally, is in a good mood. I might be too. Or at least I'll give it a try.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Day 29: This is all I have

IMG_8527, originally uploaded by phocina.

I'm really going out with a bang. The holidays have sucked the life right out of me, so I'm going to let the blog slide with a photo post. I had grand hopes that I might pull off a post longer than a paragraph, and now that seems unlikely.

She's too cute, right? At least it's a good picture. Other photos here.

Day 26: Where's the finish line?

I don't know if I can make it there.

Day 22: Real Mom, that's me

I recently started reading the blog Scary Mommy. I'm probably attracted to it for the title, which seems like an apt description of me on many an occasion. In any case, Jill (AKA Scary Mommy) tagged me with a Real Mom meme. Basically, if you're tagged, you post this list (links included) and then you choose an entry from your archive which best describes you as a Real Mom.

1. Real Moms don’t flinch when they talk about boobs. They do make you laugh your brains out.
2. Real moms go on vacation and learn to play traffic cop
3. Real moms brag about their kids
4. Real moms do not mince words when they present the truth
5. Real moms juggle
6. Real moms “resist the guilt and embrace the journey”
7. Real moms don’t give a damn to media generated Mommy Wars
8. Real moms have kids with potty mouths
9. Real moms know that real life is not like TV sitcoms
10. Real moms carry on a telephone conversation while their child vomits on the couch
11. Real Moms think farting is really, really funny.

and mine, 12. Real Moms wear crowns.

As a last step, I get to pass this along. I'm going to tag three bloggers whom I don't know in real life: Mary at Mean Mommy, Sydney at Diapers and Deadlines, and Cristin at Tiptoeing through the Tulips. If you care to play along, link to this post and let me know.

Day 14: Theft or Flattery

There's this blog I love. No, not mine, but this one. I love it because it’s written by a Dad Gone Mad. He’s funny, erudite, and inspired, need I say more. A few days ago, this post appeared in my Reader, and I’ve gone back to it at least a dozen times. Read it. You smiled, didn’t you?

I've been thinking about my list since I first read his. What's your list? I'll give you mine.

Things I'll Never Be Able To Do Again

1. Worry about getting my period for the first time.

2. Climb out on the roof of my parents house with my brother, Paul, and watch the northern lights dance across the sky.

3. Get caught drinking beer underage.

4. Pet Bootsy.

5. Wear a two-piece swimming suit.

6. Watch Craig pull into the parking lot, jump out of his truck, and wonder "Who's that guy?"

7. Take Intro to Geology.

8. Collect whale fossils.

9. Claim I will never drive a minivan.

10. Experience the first night home from the hospital with my first child.

11. Hear my grandfather call me "Sugar".

12. Judge my parent's parenting.

13. Breastfeed Julia before she goes to bed.

14. Stay out all night.

15. After one month together, hear Craig say "I think I'm falling in love with you."


So that's my list, at least for this moment in time. It took me thirty minutes to put this one together. With another thirty, it might be entirely changed. A list like this could have hundreds of entries. I want to read your lists. If you write one, let me know, and I'll link to it.

Day 11: Something worth posting about

Anne and Whitney will soon be ruling the internet (with the help of Grace and Julia). Joking aside, Laura has set up a blog to keep friends and family posted on the girls and, more specifically, Whitney's health. She's due for surgery on December 1, and we are excited, nervous, and so very hopeful that this surgery will mark a significant turning point.

So, dear commenting and non-commenting readers, get to their blog. Leave them a comment (that's an order). They need all the love and support this world can provide.

Day 8: You comment, I follow

Part of the reason I participate in NaBloPoMo is because it introduces me to new bloggers.  I find them through the NaBloPoMo Randomizer and the Blogroll, and other bloggers find me through that same mechanism and sometimes leave a comment.  As I have written about in the past, I'm not the best commenter, and I tend to have long-time readers who don't like to comment as well.  I've been trying to break out of that mold over the last year though, and I've met some really interesting people as a result. 

When I leave comment, I open myself up, especially when it's someone I don't know.  The internet is often about anonymity, and many people, like myself, enjoy this voyeuristic aspect.  Life is about connections however, and as strange this medium may be, it is possible to meet kindred spirits.  We're all on life's journey.

So today I'm going to post my own little blogroll: bloggers who have left comments this month.  Click on the links, and go check them out.  If you feel up to it, leave a comment and tell them I sent you.  We all write posts hoping someone will read them and respond.  Here's your chance.

TLLB November Blogroll
A Day in the Life of the Suthersons
Blending In
Diapers and Deadlines
Jordan Jamboree
The Musings of a Mom
The Cottage by the University
Tiptoeing Through the Tulips

Day 5: The four-year-old demographic

John McCain didn't stand a chance with Grace.

Earlier this summer she asked me about the candidates. She had heard Craig and I talking about the election and wondered about this mythical figure, the President of the United States of America. I told her in four year old terms how we elect a person every four years to serve as president or "boss" of the country. Being four and obsessed with the number four, she liked the idea of a four year term. She also liked the idea of being a boss, a skill she she would like to master and lord over her sister.

These facts were all fine and good, but she wanted to know more about the individuals who serve as president. She didn't like that we hadn't elected a woman in our history. She also wasn't too keen about the fact that most presidents were decidedly older (at least to a four-year-old). This was the first sign John was in trouble with this demographic.

What sealed the deal for Grace, however, wasn't the candidate's policies, philosophy or party, but rather their families:

"Barack Obama has two daughters just like my daddy!"

And with that her vote was cast.  This morning, when we told her Obama had clinched the election, she wanted to see pictures.  I showed her one with Obama hugging his oldest daughter, Malia.  Grace then asked, "but where's the younger one, the one just like me?"  

Just wait until I tell her the Obama girls are getting a puppy.   Next thing you know, she will be asking Craig to run for office.  

Who needs time management

National Blog Posting Month begins on November 1st, and I'm doing it. You remember NaBloPoMo, don't you? I did it last year while on vacation because I love a challenge don't have enough to do with my time. You're probably wondering,"what is that woman thinking?"

In about ten days I'll be thinking the same thing.

On the playground

IMG_7697, originally uploaded by phocina.

Weekend Update

Otherwise known as "Brief Post Before Another Hiatus"

Hello Lovelies, We are still here. Life moves on in typical Byron fashion. Grace is taking on the preschool set. Julia is whining her way into the record books, and Craig is balancing life as father-husband-professor-and-community organizer. I'm just plain lazy. Well, that last part isn't entirely true. I finally hammered out a contract with my future employer, and the financial compensation means that Craig will only have to teach one summer session to keep the family afloat, Hurray!

In other good news, we are halfway to meeting our financial goal for the Buddy Walk. If you are still interested in sponsoring us, send me an email, and I will get you the details.

I wish I had more to say, but whatever words I put together in my brain either sound too schmaltzy or whiney (and you wonder how that's different from any other post I've written). I will say that my 35th birthday is approaching quickly, and this has filled me with, what's the word? Terrror? No. Anxiety? Maybe. Denial? Yes, denial is what I've been feeling. In my mind I haven't aged a day past twenty-five, and I find it curious that college students view me as a responsible and mature adult. I guess having two kids and a house and a husband blows my identity as a hip twenty-something.

That's about it for me. We'll be departing for Indianapolis next week for an extended visit. We'll get to meet our niece, Whitney, for the first time and spend some time with her family. I promise, promise to post some pictures then.

One last note: Happy 16th month, Julia Bug, you little stinker. We love you as big as the whole world (to quote your big sister, Grace), and we can't believe how much you've grown. If you and Grace put your minds together, world domination would be within your reach! Love, Ma-ma and Da-da