When it's over before it even starts

I loved Halloween when I was a kid. Growing up in rural northern Michigan we didn't have the option of buying costumes from a store. Like most kids, I had a lot of creative energy so designing a costume every fall was great fun. Each of those costumes has taken on a mythical quality in my memory. Though when I looked at pictures in an old album this morning, I realized that some of them were pretty hokey (as evidenced by the accompanying photo--that's me as a webster's dictionary--I thought it was way cool).

With the birth of Grace, I was thrilled to again experience Halloween through a child's eyes. Her first Halloween she went as a bumblebee. This was followed up with a Devil in 2005 and a Cougar in 2006. She requested a butterfly costume this year, and of course I obliged. While creating her costumes has allowed me to recapture some of the Halloween buzz I experienced as a youth, the other events associated with the holiday haven't been much fun. Why? My child, the light of my life, is nothing but a little terrorist when she gets a little candy in her body. Even without the sugar, she's poorly behaved.

Case in point: last night we took the girls to Mercer's Harvest Fest (where student organizations have booths with games and candy for kids). For the most part Grace behaved herself while at the festival, but things quickly went down hill when we got home. There was a lot of crying, a lot of foot stomping, some slamming of doors, very loud screaming, some "I don't like you, Mommy" and "Leave me alone, Daddy." She didn't actually fall alseep until after nine (this from a girl who goes to bed at 7). And the thought that kept circulating in my brain? It's not even Halloween yet. This holiday is over before it even started. Oh, I'm a mean mommy, but the idea of actually taking Grace out on the real Halloween is too much for me. I am leaving the option open for Craig, but you can count me out this year. Last night was simply draining. It wasn't fun, and it makes me wonder about all those good memories I had as a kid, did my parents hate Halloween as much as I do now?

I know we'll get past this rut in the road. I know that by the end of the week I won't feel so down. Grace was pretty cute in her costume after all, and Julia was the chubbiest skeleton I saw. There's always next year.