Five most embarassing moments from the last five years

1. Grocery shopping with my shirt unbuttoned (full boob exposure; November, 2004)

Breastfeeding kills brain cells, I'm sure of it. Prior to going to the store I nursed Grace and forgot to button my shirt all the way up. You would think someone in the store--aside from the checkout lady--would have clued me in.

2. Grace's temper tantrum at the Portland, Maine Airport (August, 2007)

Easily the loudest I have ever heard Grace scream (the atrium at the airport has great acoustics). The airport was fairly busy that morning, so you could hear a lot of chatter by other passengers. After Grace's outburst there was complete silence followed by "thank god, that's not my kid."

3. Grace and Julia's meltdown on a flight to Philadelphia (August, 2007)

This also ranks as the most humiliating experience in recent memory. We had just boarded the plane, manhandled Grace's car seat into position, and sat down. Julia was fussing, and I had just started to nurse her. The flight attendant told us Grace would need to move (her car seat could not be in the aisle seat), so I had to stop nursing Julia (which caused her to start screaming). In the process of moving Grace, she started to cry and scream. We had flight attendants fluttering all around us (not helpful) and other passengers complaining (really not helpful). Finally I was crying, begging Craig to get us off the plane. We have not flown with both of our children since then.

4. "My goodness that's a large birthmark" (bum exposure while laboring with Grace; August, 2004)

I have a large crescent shaped birthmark on my left cheek. When I was nine another little girl remarked "do you have a leaf stuck under your swimming suit?" I looked down at my hot-pink tank suit, and to my horror saw that my birthmark was clearly visible. From that moment until my early adulthood, I was extremely self conscious about exposing my birthmark. Thankfully, as an adult I have largely forgotten it's there. That is until I was laboring with Grace and one of nurses announced it to the entire labor and delivery staff. Let's just say that a woman's psyche is quite delicate during labor; it's not the time to reintroduce old insecurities.

5. "I think these are yours" (My grandmother returning a pair of undies left when Craig and I stayed with her and my grandfather; 2003)

I'm still so embarrassed about this one that it's hard to write about. Suffice it to say that these were pre-children underwear of the thong variety.