Hello, friends, I'm back (after a brief, but necessary break). I planned to wait until morning to post but then I read this, and I got some much needed supportive emails from my long distance girlfriends (thank you, ladies).
So here I am, off the couch.
Over the last couple of days I contemplated leaving permanently. The blogosphere that is (I can be so overly dramatic). Two and a half years ago I started the State of Grace so that my parents, in laws and other family members could keep track of my progeny. I posted once a week or so. I go back and read those posts now and see a puffed up newbie parent.
But my family seemed to like it, or at least that's what they told me. I would get requests for videos and pictures, and I happily obliged. Meanwhile I was reading lots of other blogs (cause I'm way too old for facebook). Some of the writing reduced me to tears, in a good way. I found myself returning to certain sites to peer into the lives of others, read about their heartbreaks and their triumphs. I found inspiration in their words and a sense of I'm not alone in my feelings.
I was never a very good commenter though. It's one thing to read about someone else's life; it's a whole other enchilada to engage in conversation about it. Call me a lurker.
Over the course of eighteen months or so the State of Grace evolved from a blog about pictures and cute anecdotes to one with larger stories and broader themes. This evolution was fully realized with the inauguration of Two Little Ladybugs: the blog I now call home, where I tell stories that strike my funny bone or my heart.
And people responded, by email mostly. It seems that my readers are much like me: readers, not commenters. Your responses felt good in a sort of high schoolish way: "he or she likes me, they really, really like me."
At times I've let my inner life bleed into the blog. My battle with depression or my insecurities about my current status: non-working mother of two. I tried to write about these issues with humor. We all need to laugh more. I also didn't want to worry anyone.
That's why I took a break. I felt really low, and I didn't want to share my feelings or turn this into a whining blog. Like I said above, I thought about leaving for good. But I like blogging. I like having a record of my girls lives that their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins can see. Writing is also a luxury for me. I steal time away from laundry and housework to tell stories about our lives, and I want to keep doing that.
So please forgive my excursions into the blue. I am a very flawed and emotional human being prone to seeing life a little glass half empty. Now midway through my thirties, I see no reason to change my essential character. Perhaps there is someone reading this entry right now, another melancholy soul searching for understanding, and for that alone (and my glorious girls Grace and Julia) I will keep posting.
See you all later. Lists to come. In the meantime, enjoy these girls.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books
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