Day 9: The Math of Parenting

Differences. Mothers tune their ears to the sound of differences. Mothers aren't alone though. Fathers, singles, marrieds, old, and young, we all listen to differences. How else are we to define ourselves.

Mother A says, "We do _______ for our child."

Mother B hears, "You're doing ______ wrong."

Of course, this isn't what Mother A said. She simply stated a preference for her child. Mother B interpreted that preference as difference (at best) and judgement (at worst).

I try to be cognizant of this dynamic, in myself, and in others. I hear words exit my mouth, and I watch another mother's expression contort, slightly. Has she heard judgement, I wonder. Is that what I intended, I worry.

I hate this particular arithmetic of parenting; that it's the sum of our differences that defines us, when surely, it's the sum of our similarities that unites us.

......

I'm in a pensive mood (surprise). I've been battling fatigue and a foggy brain for the last two weeks. I can't tell if it's the result of hormonal shifts (with Julia no longer nursing) or the cold that's been rotating through our family, hitting each of us more than once. While Julia naps and Grace watches her afternoon cartoons, I fall asleep on the couch. It's never my intention. The list of household tasks swirls in my brain, and I think I must get up. But I can't, and instead, I wake hours later with Julia yelling in her crib and Grace on a stool in the kitchen investigating the cabinets.

I hope the fog lifts soon.

......


From our walk to Mercer on Friday. It takes Craig seven minutes to walk from our front door to his office. With the ladybug and her stroller and her sister who insisted upon walking herself, it took us 40 minutes.