300 /10

Read enough blogs and you'll notice a thing or two. One, bloggers like to write lists. This is the cheap post, written on the fly, with a little or a whole lot of thought. Two, bloggers are obsessed with numbers: how many people visit their blog, how many pageloads per day, or how many posts per week, month or life of the blog.

I like a good list. It is my cheap post. And I like numbers, probably a little too much. I can obsess about pageloads and visitors (an unhealthy preoccupation that I could write about at length). And I track the number of posts that I write each month. Still, I was amazed today when I opened Blogger Dashboard to find that I had published 300 posts.

Are you kidding me? 300 posts. That's a lot of time that I probably could have spent in a more productive fashion. Oh well. That time's spent.

So back to my point, bloggers often use lists to mark blog milestones (e.g. a list of 100 things for the 100th post). DON'T WORRY. I'm not going to bore you with 300 little known facts about me. For one, my mother would gag. She already thinks I'm a bit too public in this space. Two, I don't have the patience to write a list that long. Remember, the point of the list post is brevity.

My solution is to give you a list of thirty things, just ten percent of the possible options. This should give my mom a fit. Here goes.

1. I don't shave my legs in the winter. I'm lazy and cold.
2. I shop at Goodwill, and I feel guilty about it, as if my relative good fortune means I shouldn't shop there.
3. My laundry basket, filled with clean folded clothes, is sitting on my dresser. It's been there for a week.
4. I finally signed the contract for my freelance gig, and my first thought was, "crap, now I actually have to work."
5. When Grace is sick she is an AWFUL little human, and though I know I should be understanding, I can't stand her at those times.
6. I'm obsessed with Weeds and Dexter, and I don't even have Showtime.
7. I feel like an utter failure as a parent at least once a day.
8. I'm really, really in love with Craig. I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out, and it never has.
9. I talk to at least one homeless or near homeless person a day.
10. I have a crush on the UPS guy. He always knocks because he knows the doorbell might wake Julia at naptime.
11. I'm no longer a member of a church. I left last month.
12. I may go to the church down the street. This scares me.
13. I'm going away from Julia for the first time next month. This scares me too.
14. I really, really need to get away. I will be a better parent and partner for it.
15. I hate Macon. A lot sometimes.
16. I love my house. A lot most times.
17. I can't commit to working out.
18. I don't like my body from the bottom of my ribs to the tops of my knees.
19. I'm insecure about my bust size,
20. I love my hands and feet. They are my best features.
21. I think I should stop blogging. It's unhealthy to be preoccupied with posting my dirty laundry on the internet.
22. I don't want to stop blogging because through this medium I have connected with new and old friends.
23. I never correct the cashier when she rings up green cabbage for napa.
24. I'm a mostly recovered liar.
25. I have rosacea, so my skin is often red and irritated. I found that Triplepaste works well to relieve the redness. It's a diaper ointment.
26. I don't remember the last book I read, and I finished it just a month ago.
27. I don't want to have any more kids but admitting to that makes me sad. This confuses me.
28. Service people and Jehovah's Witnesses catch me in my pajamas a lot. The same Witness caught me twice, three months apart. Sadly, I'm not embarrassed by this.
29. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
30. I'm happy more often than not. This is a great surprise to me, someone who has battled depression since high school. Thirty-five ain't all that bad.