Ever since Craig erected the girls play set, we've been under surveillance by neighborhood kids. They circle our house on their bikes, trying to catch our attention, gain acceptance and permission. They're all boys, and much older than Grace. One of them we've known since we moved in. He's three years older, and the object of Grace's affection. She stands too close to him, and tilts her head to touch his shoulder. She hangs on his every word, and whenever we ask about him she smiles and blushes and then tries not to smile. At four and a half she already needs to hide her desires from us.
We let the kids play in our yard as long as an adult supervises. When dinner preparations call, I send them away and Grace growls at me with furrowed brow.
"I don't wanna go in. I wanna stay out and play with the boys. I wanna go to the park. I know the rules."
"Sorry, kid, but it's dinner time."
She huffs off, arms crossed, and throws herself on the sofa. Craig raises his eyebrows as if to say, "Already? She's already ditching us for older boys?"
Late yesterday afternoon, I told her she could hang out on the back porch while I prepped food. I heard her calling out:
"Is anybody out there? Where are you?"
She's longing for freedom we can't allow. She doesn't understand that the boys come for the playset, not for her. They also come for Craig. Most of them don't have dads, and just as Grace longs for their attention, they long for the attention of an adult man.
We're wary of this new development. Later this summer a fence will be built to enclose our yard. We'll feel more secure, and Grace, my sweet growing girl, will feel caged.
2 comments:
Mike told me about his conversation with Craig about the boys, one in particular, coming to play and also hoping to spend some time with Craig. That is a tough spot to be in - it is nice that Grace has fun playing with these kids and VERY nice of you and Craig to give them some much needed attention, but also hard when you just want to be able to go out and play sometimes with just you and the girls! Hopefully the fence will help a little? :) Will you and Craig put the fence in yourselves???
Thanks, Laura. I wish we had the time and the ability to put up a fence, but we don't. We already have an estimate, and now we just have to get the plan approved by planning and zoning. Hopefully we'll have the fence up by late June.
We really like two of the boys that come by (the other three I could do without). Still, it's really tough because they are sooo much older than Grace, and we also don't want to become the hang out for older neighborhood kids. Last night, Craig had two more boys stop by to get their bikes fixed, and it's kind of heartbreaking because their bikes aren't very functional, but it's all they have.
I still wouldn't change where we live, but there are definitely unforeseen consequences and situations that we have to navigate.
I hope Whitney's appt goes well. I'll be checking in.
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