Our new morning routine

When I walked into Grace's room to wake her this morning, she was snuggled with a blanket, lying on her side. Though she was sound asleep, she was smiling. I sat down on her bed and began to rub her back. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning, Mommy."

"Good Morning, Sweetheart."

"Is it time to get up?"

"Yup."

It took a few more minutes of stroking her back to rouse her. When she finally sat up, rubbing her eyes, she said, "Is this the first day of school?"

"Yes, baby, it is."

And with that she leapt into my arms for a hug, and I could feel the smile on her face as she buried her head in my neck. I helped her dress and then we headed downstairs where Craig was making pancakes with Grandma's strawberry sauce on the side. Together we packed her lunch, and once breakfast was ready I went to retrieve Julia.

After the pancakes were consumed, I herded the girls onto the porch from some first day of school pictures. I knew I wouldn't be bringing my camera with me to school, so these would be my only shots. As much as I like to document every moment of my kid's lives, the camera can also create distance, and I wanted to fully experience Grace's first drop off for Kindergarten.

She held my hand for the entire walk to school, down our driveway, across the street, over the railroad bridge and up the stairs to the front door. I only let go when she sat down with her new classmates in the gymnasium (classes meet in the gym and then are dismissed to their classrooms). Parents lined the edge of the room, smiling at their kids, taking pictures, or hugging children with nervous tears.

Kindergarteners were dismissed first, and being the first day there was some confusion. Grace didn't know where to walk, and she turned to look at me for direction.

"MOMMY, I don't know what to do!"

I thought she might cry, but an older student stepped forward to guide her, and a little boy behind her reached and touched her shoulder to soothe her fears. Craig and I met her at the gym exit, so we could walk her to class. Her smile returned, and I knew we were okay.

During orientation we had been instructed to make our goodbyes brief. When we entered the class, we walked Grace to her chair and bent over for kisses goodbye. She kissed me quickly, already intent on the puzzle in front of her. Craig and Julia were next, and as Craig stood with Julia in his arms, the tears began. Not from Grace. Not from me, and not from Craig.

"I stay with Grace. I want to see Grace," Julia cried.

By the time we reached the hall her cries were louder, and she reached her arms out in vain towards Grace's classroom.

"I want to see Grace. I want to see Grace."

Craig and I looked at each other, eyes brimming with tears. We knew this might happen. Julia adores her sister. They are the best playmates. However, we weren't quite prepared for the volume of her protests. As we exited the building, another mother said, "Now that's the mark of a great big sister--when her little sister cries that much when she says goodbye." Craig balanced Julia on his side with one arm and held my hand with the other. He squeezed my hand, and silent tears slid down my cheeks.

"She's so happy to be there."

"Yeah, she is. I miss her already."

Her birthday is tomorrow, but we will celebrate tonight. Craig leaves tomorrow afternoon for a wedding in California, and he doesn't want to miss seeing her open presents. I have a cake baking in the oven to be decorated with mice (Grace's request), and then I'll move onto making the macaroni and cheese (her other request). Tomorrow morning, Grammy will arrive from Indianapolis to surprise the birthday girl and help me in Craig's absence.

Now I have the rest of the day to fill. Or at least until 3pm when we walk back over the railroad bridge to meet Grace and bring her home. It's the first day of school for my first baby, and while there may be tears in my eyes, I couldn't be happier for her.